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#8: Mindset: Interview with Coach Brianna

Coaching Hive with Dr. Moira Hanna
Coaching Hive with Dr. Moira Hanna
#8: Mindset: Interview with Coach Brianna
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Introduction

Welcome to the Coaching Hive Podcast!  For the last few weeks, we have been discussing the importance of mindset in making changes and in our daily life.   Today I have a special treat for you. We are sitting down with Brianna Wilkerson and she is going to share some of her insights and expertise on the concept of mindset.  

I had the chance to meet Brianna through the Female Entrepreneur Association when we realized that we are both health coaches.  Brianna is a holistic health and life coach, a wife, a mama, a chai tea lover, and at-home cross-fitter.   

She helps women find peace with food, feel confident in their bodies again, and develop a healthy lifestyle that’s more than just about their weight. In her sessions, Brianna supports and empowers her clients to make simple, sustainable changes that work and fit into their life. 

So, let’s get started, jump in, and chat with Brianna!

Interview

Moira: Welcome Brianna! I am just so excited to have you here with me today, and I’m really looking forward to our time together. I know we’ve been chatting for just a few minutes kind of catching up, and I am glad to have connected with you through the Female Entrepreneur Association.

Brianna: Me too. 

Moira: So today, as you know, I’ve been talking with my listeners about mindset this month, and I know that’s something that’s also important to you and you really see the value in. I thought it would be really great to just kind of hear a little bit about what you’re doing. You are a health coach, so I’d love to know a little bit more about what you’re doing in your coaching practice right now.  And then maybe we can talk a little bit more about mindset. 

Brianna: Yeah. Well, thanks for having me. Yeah. I think mindset, no matter what coaching sphere, or actually what business you’re in, is so huge. And particularly with my clients I’ve kind of niched down and focus on that in regard to mindset around food, their bodies and themselves, because I think when it comes to whether it’s sustainable weight loss or any health goal, many of us women have emotionally and mentally charged goals that are connected to how we view food, our body and ourselves. And so right now, I’m kind of really supporting women in finding peace with food. You know, try not to see food as like an enemy or something that’s just for comfort, but something to fuel us, but also finding peace with their bodies. Just, you know, I just had a nine-month-old, so our bodies are going to change, all the time. And how do we start to love our bodies now versus when it is a certain size or a certain shape, and really honor it, because if we don’t take care of our bodies, we cannot show up well in the world. And then ultimately, I want to help them develop a healthy lifestyle, beyond just their weight. I do think weight loss is something we can go towards, but weight isn’t the only measurement of our health. And so, I really just want to help women see that our is not in our weight, but also our health is not necessarily in our weight either.

So yeah, so through one-on-one coaching, through my own podcasts, through challenges, different free resources, I’m just trying to kind of help women see that they’re more than their weight. 

Moira: So you’re really helping women view health and wellness more holistically, not just that number on the scale when we step on.  That, it’s so much more than any number can ever tell us.  That it’s truly about that whole body, that whole wellbeing, everything, including mindset and how we view ourselves and our weight and food and everything combined. I think that’s so important and so needed in our culture where we do tend to get very number focused, right? We step on the scale and look at the number. Is it the number we want? No. Oh my gosh. But instead, really focusing on being the healthiest you possible, creates such a better relationship. And then you see, I bet you see with your clients that scale moving in the direction that they want to see. 

Brianna: Yeah. Ultimately, I think our bodies are smarter than us. And I think our bodies, when it is getting nourished the way it needs, through food and water and supplements, when we are moving it well, when we are resting it well, and you’re stressing less and reducing our toxic load that our body is going to be like, okay, let’s take her out of survival mode and let’s get back to where we want to be in need to be because our body is like, if we particularly go on diets all the time, our bodies go into this feast or famine mode, it’s like, she’s not eating. So we’re going to have to hold everything in. And it’s just trying to make us survive. So, when we can kind of give it what it needs, it will help. It will ultimately move us towards where it thinks it should be like. And so, some people ask like, what is a good body weight for my, you know, height? And my age, I say, depends on so many factors. Like, did you just have a kid? Are you 55? Are you 35? Are you, you know, what’s your activity level? It’s just so different. So, when we go get our weight done, even at a doctor’s office are other vital signs.  Like those are great indicators, but they’re not the only indicators of our health. Like you could be totally bypassing an autoimmune condition, a thyroid condition that you just won’t know by just measuring those things. 

Moira: I think that’s so smart to really look at the whole picture. You’re right. When we go into that survival mode, you’re right our body holds on and we aren’t going to achieve that healthy balance and healthy weight, whatever that is for us. And it’s not necessarily what shows up on a chart where we go, okay, this is my height. This is my age. This is the weight I ought to be. That’s not quite how it works. Right? Everybody works effectively at a different place and finding that and finding that ability to step back. Yeah, absolutely. So that’s so exciting. Your, your clients are lucky to have you in you’re in their corner and really thinking about more than just that diet concept, really creating a lifestyle of wellness. And it sounds like you’re just looking at all of those pieces and that’s where the success comes. That’s where we get to that vision that we want for ourselves. So how exciting now, when we connected in the female entrepreneur association and I was looking to connect with people who wanted to chat about mindset, you said yes. And I’m so curious, is it just that this is kind of your passion with your clients? What really made you say yes, I’d love to talk. 

Brianna: You know, when I started my own business like five years ago this week, I think. I didn’t know that mindset and what you believe, think, and say about your success in business about yourself and your ability to do all these things would impact the growth of my business or the non-growth of my business. I just started, you know, it was because I do both coaching and essential oils, I was introduced a lot to personal development. I just, I mean, goodness, I’m a personal development and junkie now and all of this centers around mindset, like you and your beliefs and your thoughts and your words. 

And I just started to see how, when I started to feel more confident or even started to say things or believe things were possible, things moved forward. And it wasn’t just like this magical thing. It was that I was, you know, I would say my favorite mindset book is actually, “You Are a Badass at Making Money” by Jen Sincero. I love her other ones, but this one, she just went a little bit more in detail on some things. And her pillars are like, your beliefs equals your thoughts, equals your words, feelings, and then your actions in reality. And so many of us are trying to change your actions through strategy and strategy is really important when it comes to your health, when it comes to your business. But if you don’t believe something to support that strategy, it’s going to be different. 

So, so for me, when I started to see, like I could do all of the hustling I want and all of the networking opportunities and all the coaching calls and all the lives. But if I don’t believe that I actually can help people and succeed and be a part of a profitable business, I won’t.  Because I’m actually not going to take the right actions consistently to move me forward.

And, you know, some days are better than others, I’m not like this mindset pro I still struggle, but I’m more aware of it now. And now I have a couple tools. So, I love mindset because I believe whether you’re starting a business, running a business, whether you have to set a goal to run a marathon, whether you have a goal to be a good mom, it all starts with what you believe and what you say.

Moira: That makes me think about, you know, hearing that it all starts with beliefs and you really want to build based on that, it really makes me think about the concept of our values and making sure that what we’re doing is aligned with our values. And when you have that foundation in place, just like your beliefs, that things tend to grow a little bit easier, a little more fluidly, not easy but easier because now you’re able to put everything in line. And now you are taking the right actions, not just actions because, Oh, you scrolled through Facebook and saw this magical post that said you ought to do something, but it’s grounded all the way down to your values and your beliefs. 

And you’re truly growing a business that you love versus something that just kind of happens to you. So I can see that this concept of mindset it’s rooted in everything that you’re doing, that it’s, and it grows straight out of your business. So as you start to work with your clients, we’ve talked a little bit about this already, helping them see that holistic view of themselves. How do you see mindset coming in and really helping them on that side of your business? 

Breanna: You know, I think there’s two main areas that I think mindset is very crucial. It’s in that while you’re calling the strategy, the habits that we all think we run too. Like, I need to make sure I eat veggies at every meal. I need to make sure I’m moving each day, but also in like, why do I think veggies are the only healthy option? Or why am I, you know, why do I think this weight number is important? And, you know, I think, as you know, the coaching sessions are so powerful because really the coach has access questions to help you, as a client, discover this thing. And so, I had a client recently who her main thing is I just need to exercise more and for sure she wanted to move more. And then, but as we were taking stock of all the way she was moving throughout her day and just to help her see, I am someone who moves, I am someone who fits in exercise and, you know, she had this whole grandiose like vision of, of exercise, which is great. But for her current season of life, that was just too much, but she was actually exercising. And so, something I love helping clients see is that they’re actually doing a good job, but they don’t think they are because we have this image of a perfect healthy habit or lifestyle.

So, and also giving ourselves grace and understanding to, to know that it’s okay if we’re not perfect one week, it’s okay if we’re not perfect.  That’s mindset, cause what does that, what does that belief come from? That as women, we need to be super women and everything seriously. We believe, you know, you know, we would do it, but we wouldn’t like, it’s so funny. Cause I would, if you said, Oh man, I have to do this. I’d be like, it’s okay. It’s totally fine. But then if I start to believe the opposite about myself, I’m like, no, you have to do everything. Then you’re like, it’s okay. It’s totally fine because we are our worst critic.

And we have our own inner critic us that is telling us we should be and do something like we’re not enough or we’re not doing enough. And that I think is a core thing many women face in different areas of their lives. So, half the things that I really do in my coaching session is as many of my clients know what they need to do to have a healthy lifestyle or even a, foundation. But there’s something blocking them from doing it. Whether it’s feeling like they don’t have enough time because they’re busy, they have kids and they’re working full-time or they have an injury. So, they say, how can I actually move? Or, you know, the money’s a little tight, how can I afford healthy foods? So there’s already this belief that I don’t have enough time.

So of course, you’re not going to make time to take care of yourself. So, you know, as a coach, you know, as you know, you just kind of listening and, and helping them see what they think and are saying, and then just asking them, Hey, do you really believe that that’s true? And then they say, Oh, maybe, yeah, I actually do believe as true. Or actually, no, I didn’t realize I was saying that. So yeah. I just, I think it’s the coolest thing in the world to do that because I have coaches in my different areas of my life too. And they do the same to me. Cause we just don’t know where we’re stuck in this limiting belief cycle.

We just can’t see it often for ourselves. 

Moira: You’re right. We start to get so nitty gritty down in the weeds that we don’t take that step back and we don’t necessarily look how far we’ve come. We can’t see it without someone from the outside stepping back and saying, well, let’s take a moment here. Let’s celebrate these little moments that you’ve had throughout the week and guiding them to see that bigger picture view.

I love it. When a client comes in and tells me, Oh, you know, this week didn’t go as well as planned or I couldn’t do this. And I say, Oh, okay. So let’s talk about that. And it turns out they exercised three times. They didn’t get to their five, but they exercise three times and they’re telling me that’s a failure.

And so, you’re right. Really helping them think about the difference of, you know, this concept of perfection that we don’t get there. Right. We’re not perfect. We’re humans. We’re not going to be perfect. And letting that go as we don’t need to be perfect, what we need to do is just continue to work. And some weeks we work more than others.

Some weeks it becomes, well, I didn’t exercise because I needed to get some sleep. So we balanced it out. We balance it out. But hearing, you know, our clients come in with those limiting beliefs that I can’t do this, or it’s not possible, or I really believe I can’t make this work and helping them work through those blocks so that they do make the forward progress.

Brianna: Right. You know, there’s this great book called “The Slight Edge”. This was one of the first ones I read, but I think his name’s Jeff Olson, he just talks about how successes and the small steps we take daily. And often, many of us are taking those small steps and we get to survival to kind of like this maintaining mode. But in order to really be successful over the long-term, we need to continue to do those small steps and those small steps aren’t sexy either. And I think that’s what it is. It’s like a diet or short-term plan is like, you know, you go all in and you see a lot of results in a short time. 

But most of us, most of us just have to ask ourselves, but can I sustain that? Probably not. So what, from that, can you take a forward and do you even know how to take it forward? But the most, the most success I’ve seen, whether it’s someone in business, whether it’s my own health and my client’s health, it’s when they’re taking those small, simple steps that no one is necessarily seeing them do. No one is complimenting them on the change in their body that happened drastically.

But a year later, six months later, they’re feeling great, more energetic. They feel better in their skin. They feel like they can go to a party and eat something and not feel worried about overeating. And then people will ask. And it’s funny because then they’ll say, Oh, I’ve just been like, you know, just drinking my water.

And they’re like, Oh, it’s not following a specific diet. And they’re Like, Nope. And It’s just so funny because we’re just conditioned to believe that we need to just get something quickly. And just recognizing that that quick is not always good. Sometimes it’s fine, but it’s not always good for many of us. 

Moira: Right. We see that.  We see that that quick does get us those quick results, but those quick results also quickly disappear. And we want the sustainable change. You know, I always talk about this concept of it’s a marathon, not a sprint. It’s those little, you know, it’s the getting out every day and walking just a little bit and maybe that’s to your mailbox in the beginning, maybe then it’s to your mailbox back three times, you know, it doesn’t have to be those big steps that we envisioned when we say, Oh, I need to make these changes. It’s those tiny little steps that make a difference. 

You’re absolutely right. And helping, I think you’re so smart to think with your clients and take those moments and say, you know, let’s break this down. Let’s really think about what it is you want, where you’re headed, and take it one step at a time knowing that, you know, six months down the road, you’ll start to see those changes where you can sit down on the floor with your grandkids and stand back up without a problem because you have more energy, your joints are moving better. And all of these concepts that seemed unattainable, But if you have that mindset of breaking it down and knowing that that’s okay and that’s really the best way that’s sustainable.

Brianna:  And it’s getting surrounding with people who believe the same. And so, you know, whether that’s a coach, whether that’s a friend, whether that’s a family member, our minds are very smart. So, it’s gonna keep going back to how we used to think and believe if we don’t change that, that pattern of thinking. And so, you know, having someone you maybe check in with once a week and just saying, this is what’s going on and really talk with them and they’ll be like, Hey, you, you know, you did great. Or you do realize you’re saying this because sometimes you’re, again, you’re just unaware or you may have done a great job, but you just don’t see it in the midst of everything else.

Moira: I love that you bring up that concept of support. I was just meeting with a group of coaches earlier this week, and we talked about the importance of building community support.  And whether that’s community in terms of multiple people or that one go-to person that knows what you’re working on and is there to back you up and help you and remind you to keep that positive mindset that the change is possible. We were talking about how challenging it can be, especially in this day and age to create those connections.

So, as you think about working with your clients and especially this mindset concept, how, what ideas do you have for creating support that maybe goes beyond you as their coach? 

Brianna: Yeah, I mean, I definitely think, you know, if you could be a part of, you know, there’s so many online, free online communities and pay that with other women who are journeying in the same way.

So, you know, I have a free Facebook group, but there might be someone else who has a free Facebook or a pay group or even something in person. I know it’s like pandemics. Some people are weird about this. So, having actual social connection with the human being is so important. So that’s why I love, I, you know, personally, I love CrossFit became a CrossFit Level One trainer because I just love the community that surrounds that, that it keeps me accountable. It keeps me looking when I’m trying to do something a little bit more challenging in a, in a, in a workout, you know, telling a friend meant, man, this is like challenging for me. And then at the end finishing before, but for me being like, come on, you can do it. And I’m like, I don’t want to, but I know. So, I think just looking for communities, you might actually even have people at your fingertips, but maybe you don’t want to be as vulnerable with them. So, looking for a friend or family member or a group of girlfriends, even that could just hold you accountable along the way. 

Like I had this other friend who been really good friends since college, and she’s also, she’s doing multiple things as well. And, the other day we were like, why don’t we just check in with each other weekly and just like, encourage each other, pray for each other, help each other think through a problem. And there’s no agenda.  Before we were so busy that we were like, Oh, when are we going to do that? And now it’s like, no, we need to, and it’s been so life giving. And so first telling yourself to make, it’s okay to do it, make the time to do it, that you do have enough time. And then two just look at who’s already in your life, like there might be people that you already can support from and you can support in return. So, I think those two things are key. And then if you can’t think of anyone that will understand, because maybe they think what you’re doing is crazy, you know, just go and go search for a community online or in person that could really support you. 

Moira: I think that’s, that’s smart to bring up the concept that, you know, you may not be ready to be vulnerable with the people who are in your life. And sometimes that is because it’s very much built into the society or the cultural norms that healthy isn’t the norm. Right? And so, you can be seen as that outsider, as you try to make shifts. So naturally your community may not support you and you need to find new outlets.  Going online is a great option. Having those opportunities to connect with people near and far, right? And you’re right. There are so many free opportunities out there to say, Hey, this is what I’m doing. And I would love someone to check in with.  Just taking that five or 10 minutes. And it doesn’t have to be long. It may be a little chat stream. It might be a Voxer back and forth. It might be something so simple that it doesn’t have to be two hours out of your week where you sit down and talk with this person.

It can just be that really quick moment. But it means all of the difference in what you’re able to accomplish and to keep that positive mindset to move forward rather than to stagnate get stuck, because you don’t have that person saying, Hey, let me walk alongside you. Let me link, arms and move with you. 

Brianna: I’ve always like, at least since starting business, it’s like one of all my top priorities to invest in myself through whether it’s my own health and wellbeing and through my own business. So, I mean, I’m in a part of FEA, you know, on, I’m also part of a mastermind. I have a one-on-one coach and that’s just for business. And I’m like, you know, and another group where I get support, because I believe support is what keeps me going forward. And I, I think knowing yourself is important knowing, you know, I’m Gretchen Rubin has this book called “The Four Tendencies”. And I just love it because it just talks about expectations. So knowing whether you have strong inner expectations or outer, and I actually have really strong inner expectations, but that can sometimes get me in some trouble. Cause I’m trying to do too much at one time. Right. So that’s why I have all these supports in my business and also in my health and my life, because I tell them, Hey, I want to do this. And there all the time, they’re like, are you sure you can are you sure that’s necessary? Do you really need to do that now. Or that’s a lot you should, you know, you know, while for some other people, you might be more of an obliger. So you have like, if someone is holding you accountable like that other person, you’re like, okay, I gotta make sure I exercise or whatever. So knowing yourself is also important, but either way support comes in and supports important. 

Moira: Absolutely right. You’re right. Some of us are more, inward-focused more introverted. We can find all of the, a lot of what we need within and can make that happen. But you’re right. It comes at a cost. There are plenty of times where I look at the sticky note I put on my calendar I’ll I can do all of this. And then I look at it again and say, Ooh, no, I’ve got to move it. Right. And really thinking about what’s important and having those outside support networks in your business, in your coaching and your client, you know, in those networks, it’s important because you’re right. Your supports, masterminds, those coaches hold you accountable, don’t they? 

Brianna: Right? Yes. They’re like, are you serious? 

Moira: I thought you said you were going to take a break from that. I’m like, I know You were going to have a vacation at some point this year. Yes, yes. Right. So we have to it’s I think it’s great to think about it. Not just from how we support our clients, but also recognizing that we have to fill our own cup as coaches. And that comes in what we’re doing with our business, with our own health and wellness and creating that mindset that does allow us to fill our cup, not just to let it run empty and then pretend to pour from an empty cup. That’s where the burnout happens, which is such a risk in the coaching profession, in any health care or helping profession, burnout is such a risk and having the mindset of self-care and taking the time and getting the support really does, does make a difference. Such great nuggets of knowledge that you share.  As we prepare to wrap up. Do you have any, maybe one or two tips in particular that you’d like to share about managing mindset, aside from anything that you’ve already we’ve already talked about, especially that support component? 

Brianna: I would say just, I mean, I think if you are a journaler, that’s great, or just some finding some way to process your thoughts daily, whether that be, you know, at the end of the day, if you’re you have a partner just saying, you know, talking about your day and talking through something, or I just find that when I’m particularly journal and I love journaling, I haven’t been able to do a lot with a nine month old, but even in those five, 10 minutes, I’m like, Oh, I feel so clear. This is what I’m thinking. This is what I’m feeling. I wasn’t sure.

So, find some way to process your thoughts daily, even if it’s a good thought. I think the only think that I got a journal when things are bad or get on top of me, like just binds a regular practice of, of like, I would say, managing your mindset. And I do think that as journaling, I do think things like speaking positive truths, affirmations, I do think, yeah. Reading and learning and, you know, constantly developing your mind. Like those are my three things that if I get those in on a daily basis, I could tell you, I promise you, my mind is a lot better. I’m a way better wife, a way better mom, a way better like coach.

But if I don’t have that, it’s wow. I’m feeling a little bit more agitated or like, Oh, okay. I just haven’t had time to think. I haven’t had time to be. And so actually maybe the fourth thing is just don’t think anything, just sit and meditate and be quiet for five minutes. 

Moira: I love that concept of stopping meditating. Yes.

Brianna: So I would say that just really developing what we call a mindset practice, and that could be, that could have different components for you and me. Hear me when I say this, don’t try to do all of them in one day, if that’s too much. But even if you’re doing one of them, like that’s still managing your mindset in a way.

Moira: Absolutely. And for those, and for people who aren’t journalists, you know what, I, I do it sometimes. I’m not super consistent about it, but I guarantee you, my moment is in the shower. I go stand in the shower and I process my thoughts and my husband can tell after about 20 years of marriage, he says, you know what, Moira, it’s time go get a shower. Just think, just, just go stand for 10 minutes in the shower. 

Brianna: I love it. I love it. Sometimes I just sit in the shower. Cause I’m looking at the end of the day, I love taking evening showers for that release to kind of like let loose. And also, I have really great ideas as you’re saying in the shower.

It’s because we have, literally, you’re not doing anything. You’re just letting the waterfall on you. And so, do that more often and then you’ll get more clear and you’ll be happier. 

Moira: Yes. 100%. I agree. I think water’s very powerful too, as an element. And it just allows us to, to calm and allows our bodies to slow our nervous system to slow enough that we can actually think and process or just stand and be, not even think, just be. And that’s where the beauty in that mindset comes in. 

Oh my gosh. Such great, great wisdom today. Thank you so much for sharing all of your ideas now, how can we connect with you on social media? 

Brianna: Yeah. So anywhere that, you know, there’s a social media handle on MadeWell345. So you can just look for me there. And yeah, I hang out on my Facebook group the most and on Instagram. So if you’re like, where are you? Where are you going to see you? The most of those places. And I’m an email have a weekly newsletter. You could sign up for my food freedom journal, which is just a free journal around this stuff around mindset and processing your relationship with food. If you want to be on my list, but also have a tool in your belt. Moira: Awesome. That sounds fantastic. I know that it sounds super interesting to me and I know that my listeners will also enjoy those kinds of resources and tools that you have thoughtfully created. So, thank you so much. I know our time is wrapping up together today and I appreciate all of your thoughts and wisdom and insights that you’ve shared today.

Conclusions

Brianna had great insights and thoughts to share.  Don’t you love her tips for mastering mindset?  If you’d like to connect with Brianna, I’ll drop her social media links in the show notes for you to check out.  

If you are ready to move your coaching business forward with our Hexagonal Hive Approach be sure to check out behealthyhive.com for more details.  I hope to see you in the Hive soon and back here next week for another episode of the Coaching Hive podcast where we will hear from another special guest who will share his journey with mastering mindset.

~ Dr. Moira

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